Walking Thoughts

Bitterness is the dam that keeps the waters of grace from filling the lake of forgiveness. Forgiveness can only be complete when fulfilled by the exercise of grace. For somebody who harbors bitterness against another, forgiveness is an impossibility because grace is restrained.


Bitterness is a very deep and dangerous wound that permeates and seethes under a veneer of pleasentness. When it does appear on the exterior, it can do nothing but destroy relationships and cause deep regrets in the person it infests. See how the Bible explains it:


See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:15


Failure to accept or exercise the grace of God leaves room for bitterness to grow in our hearts towards those we love. When that happens, forgiveness is hard to extend, God is not easily glorified in our actions, and sin is close at hand.


A friend of mine bought some land in the country and I took a day to help him dig some holes for trees he was planting. He rented a two-person auger, which is nothing more than a 5 foot drill with an engine. It should have been a pretty easy job... however, his land was a timber site. When the timber was collected, all the loose branches, trunks, and roots were pressed into the earth. The auger kept catching on roots and branches that were firmly embedded in the ground. The work was nearly impossible as the auger would catch and stop drilling every few minutes. Such is the hold bitterness can have in our hearts, in the soil that God has planted His seed.  It can stop us dead in our walk with Him.


How can we overcome bitterness?? I'll tell you this from personal experience - it's not easy. We need to accept God's grace. If you can't do that, then you've already lost. To accept His grace is to realize that when you turn to Him, God in no way treats you according to the way you have treated Him in the past, but treats you as though you have done nothing but good to Him. If you don't believe me, take some time to really read the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).


Now to accept His grace, means to exercise His grace towards others, that is, those who have used you, hurt you, angered you, or done anything to offend you in anyway. All debt is washed away, no recompense for wrong is necessary. I direct your attention the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35) who was forgiven his unpayble debt only to turn around and demand payment of a menial debt from his colleague. Bitterness is such that we can believe that we have forgiven the debt but the root, being deep, manifest itself in ways we would not think.


So how do you measure bitterness? My Sunday School teacher told me once that bitterness is like a sunburn. If I were to slap you on your shoulder in jest, you would feel fine, maybe even smile. Now, if you had a sunburn on that shoulder, the same action would cause you to cringe, recoil, and very likely get angry at me for something very benign and done in love. So how short are you with those who you know you may have some rooted bitterness?


If you find it, don't worry, but take comfort in directing your heart towards God and the grace He has extended to you. Then apply that grace toward the situation. Forgive. Cover a multitude of sins in love. When you find bitterness, stop, don't say a word, see James:


The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell
James 3:6


It's at those times, when we react in bitterness we act in what Phillip Yancey calls ungrace. We say things and act in ways that hurt others, our relationship with Christ, and ultimately ourselves as we find that we are the most hurt party because the measure of grace and forgiveness we give is only the measure we have received.  The Lord's prayer makes this ever so clear:

Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Matthew 6:11-12

So stop, don't say a word, and pray. Ask God to fill you with, remind you of, the grace He has exercised to you, and then ask Him to break the dam of bitterness that is keeping you from pouring grace, forgiveness, and love toward the person who needs your forgiveness, the person made in God's image.


Bitterness is a deep root that can only be overcome with His grace. Accept His grace, exercise His grace, depend on His grace.


See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:15