05/25/2007
Commitment v. Involvement
What's the difference between commitment and involvement?
Ham and eggs... the chicken was involved - the pig was committed!
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04/23/2007
Murphy's Laws on Computers
- Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.
- You can't win them all, but you sure can lose them all.
- The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.
- There are only two kinds of computer users: Those whose hard disks have crashed, and those whose hard disks haven't crashed - yet.
- Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with something long enough, you'll break it.
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01/09/2007
Real Estate
A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"
"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
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01/02/2007
Wishful Thinking
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12/05/2006
Stalled Out
Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again.
Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."
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11/22/2006
Thanksgiving Fun
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11/21/2006
Who's Your Coach?
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11/17/2006
Oil On Fish
Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.
One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
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11/03/2006
A Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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10/13/2006
A Walk
A man was walking through a forest pondering life.
He walked and pondered, walked and pondered.
He felt very close to nature and even closer to God,
so close that he felt if he spoke, God would listen.
So he asked, "God, are you listening?"
And God replied, "Yes, my son, I am here."
The man stopped and pondered some more.
He looked up to the sky and said,
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God replied,
"Well, my son, a second to me is like a million years to you."
So the man continued to walk and ponder... walk and ponder...
Then he looked to the sky again and said,
"God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied,
"My son, a penny to me is like a million dollars to you."
It means almost nothing to me.
It does not even have any value, it is so little."
The man looked down, pondered a bit,
and then looked up to the sky and said,
"God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replied, "In a second."
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